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06 September 2007 @ 11:53 pm

weight. i am unable to eat at this time. there is too much upset going on & im not able to force myself to eat. weigh in saturday, lookin fwd!!

02 September 2007 @ 12:02 pm

i bought clothes instead!!! really hot shirts from express & aeropostale. some neat shit from hot topic, including 3pairs of leggins (tights w/out feet). i got  a special water bra from victoria secret. wow! i said id never spend that much ona bra!. it was $50, a water bra, w/water inside so i look bigger. also got the cutlets shapers to go IN the bra to make me look major!!! the bra is so soft i see why gurls spend $$ on this shit. i also got a really pretty pair of shoes that have sneaker bottoms but pretty tops - from sketchers :-) & i bought a corduroy book bag that says Hollister on it!!!   now how easy was it to spend $400 in 2 hourse :-O i felt like i must deserve this after suffering w/my weight for so long. ive just gone up another 1/2 lb, so im  now 130.2, i want to scream & cry & rage!!!!! i need to download some evil metal rock so i can  burn off this shitty feeling!! cept i dont have a downloader cuz they cause trojans etc. so no tunes for me. but im thinkin of one i like by mike patten from faith no more called, "little gurl".............luv it............pray for my success as i do for you. you gurls are my life-line! why the fuK am i gaining?????????????? ps the hoodia made me very sick & barfed twice friday, wicKed nice............now what

27 August 2007 @ 08:02 pm

im now 129.6 & am NOT willing to be back in the 130's. if i starve i dont lose, if i nibble ev few hrs i fuKing gain. i am so over my body. i hate it!!! my daughter's on medifast & is gonna fly right by me in weight, biatch. no way do i have any desire to medifast my way. i have my ways of what i do. but they're not working. plz, if anyone has advice, im dying here. i CANt be 130 again, i'll die. whatever happened to fuKn 99 lbs???????????????? how the fuk am i ever gonna get close to that???????????????????????????????????? what if she's right & my body is only gonna go so low??? does that happen??? you reach a limit & thats that??????????

plz w/b, im dying inside.

ilu all

16 August 2007 @ 08:33 pm
i went to the drs scale tonight & was praying for 128 :-O   i was 126.2, i take a lb off for clothes, so the scale read 127.2, wicKd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thats 5 days of green tea & only a tiny amount of food. im doin it ALL over again starting NOW!!!! i know i'll never make my stg:120 by aug 21st but atleast im finally getting somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was stuck for soooooooooo long!!! couldnt get away from 134. im soooo thrilled to be in the 120's , yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
05 August 2007 @ 04:34 pm
i weighed myself @ the drs today while picking up my weekly scrip of pain meds & i lost 2 lbs in a week!!  i now weigh 130!!! thats good for me cuz when you get to my age losing weight becomes slower & slower :-(  thx 2 everyone for the support!! 

<3 aliana
30 July 2007 @ 09:50 pm
Diät-Ticker - Sichtbar abnehmen

i am thrilled! i went to the dr to pick up my script & i stepped on the scale & i lost 2 lbs
since last week :-O wow! i guess it really DOES work!
thx 4 everyones support!

ps~ leaving to start my job in 10 minutes :-O

<3 aliana
29 July 2007 @ 10:33 pm
i drank so much green tea today that the cali's actually added up. & the one meal i did take in tasted like shit. my daily tally is 470 cali's. that means my under 300 cali's lasted 4 days in a row &: i blew it today. i feel wretched. i cant undo it. i feel sick. i barely ate anything, a stupid 1/2 lean cuisine pizza, or less than 1/2 cuz  it was garlic chicken, not BBQ chicken, im sooooooooo bummed

all i took in today was a few sips of coffee @ appr. 40 cali's. my green tea @ 75 cali's & 1/4 of a chicken sandwich from panera bread!
i have no idea how many cali's that was but i know it was less than 100 cali's. + a gift @ the grocery store of some veggie salad, tiny bowl, appro. 25 cali's.......for a grand daily total of: 

240 calories, wow!!!!!!!

i hope everyone else did well today also, luv, aliana

i am saying this because when you're in your teens & 20's its easy to lose weight. start getting into your 30's & especially your fuKn 40's & its OVER. i know this because 6 yrs ago i could weigh 143 & NOT have my fuKin thighs rub together. now.....i am 44 & i weigh 134, 9 lbs less than then & my fuKin thighs are still rubbing together :-O i exercise so thats not it. its because when you get older your metabolism sux @$$.
yesterday was a success, dont know how many cali's but only 1/2 a sandwich from panera bread. i feel fuKn pissa!!  thats day 2 of ruling supreme & the day before i had 260 cali's daily tally, amaZing!!!

so on that note i will wish EVERYONE a good day & night

luv you gurls, aliana
27 July 2007 @ 01:37 am
does it say "binge" @ the bottom of my post?? ive not purged. i am restricting, super yoga=ing & obsessive about cali's, weight, thin  models.
plz let me know. thx <3